Money$hot's teabag training camp is now open!

[Money$hot]

Some pics of the new training camp you will be coming to:

The Barracks....the guard tower is for YOUR protection not to keep you in at night...


Inside.....



Officers and top staff private huts (with AC):


The Chow Hall:




Aerial view of entire compound cut out of jungle:



All supplies and food deliveries are nearing completion and water and sanitation systems are still under construction but ahead of schedule for my Nov 1st new recruit arrival date.

Make no mistake about the comforts....the training will be brutal and I assuredly will have to beat an estimated 30% of you with my bamboo rod for rule infractions and talking during my loud speaker teachings.

Progress is coming along nicely. I am looking forward to teaching you all the ancient techniques.

[G1gantuan]

wow

[Money$hot]

Since I will be living amongst you in the camp, I thought I would show you a picture of my palatial hut in which I will be living.



Sometimes I will walk among you on foot with my bamboo discipline rod and other times I will choose to ride in my human carried covered chariot adorned with drapes and sexy fan girls that feed me grapes.

I would also like you all to know that the funding for purchase and construction of my camp came from a $6.5 million dollar grant from the non- profit group: I.T.B.A.G (International Tea Baggers Associate Group), of which I happen to also be the Chairman. ITBAG is a world wide association of players of all games where teabagging is possible.

I was eligible for the grant because of evidence that I provided the board showing the extremely poor teabagging skills of those very few who do actually teabag, and the general lack of teabaggers in AC.

My methods, curriculum, rules, regulations, personal teachings, discipline and training are fully vetted and sanctioned by the ITBAG. Therefore, complaints of abuse and mistreatment will fall on deaf ears. I have been given full control of the camp, period.

Odds are you will need to be beaten at least 3 times per week to keep you in line with the strict discipline, rules and regulations expected of you. Bear that in mind before you sign up. But I assure you that you will leave my camp as a certified Professional Teabagger with all the respect due to you on the servers.

[Huntsman]

Will Soup be on the menu?

If so, I'm down for it

[Waffles]

seems the foliage spans multiple continents.

[MykeGregory]

You're taking this way too seriously

[Money$hot]

Will Soup be on the menu?

If so, I'm down for it

Yes, soup will definitely be on the menu. All kinds, sometimes cat, sometimes dog, beef etc. You will enjoy it.

---

seems the foliage spans multiple continents.

It is all jungle there except for the camp which has be cleared. I choose the chinese style hut since I am The Masta and camp commandant. And it is befitting of my beard.

---

You're taking this way too seriously

Yes I am. The state of teabagging on AC is pretty dismal and I plan to set some standards with my new army of teabaggers. And yes, indeed some of the beatings administered may seem to be over trivial rule infractions, but are necessary to ensure complete discipline and obedience.

Myke, since you are my head trainer, I also give you authority to beat the recruits as you see fit to ensure proper training.

I will have more detailed job descriptions of my top staff posted soon, so you all can see exactly what your responsibilities are, so you yourself can avoid a beating from The Masta.

[Huntsman]

Will Soup be on the menu?

If so, I'm down for it

Yes, soup will definitely be on the menu. All kinds, sometimes cat, sometimes dog, beef etc. You will enjoy it.

Yay, soup!

[Money$hot]

Will Soup be on the menu?

If so, I'm down for it

Yes, soup will definitely be on the menu. All kinds, sometimes cat, sometimes dog, beef etc. You will enjoy it.

Yay, soup!

And due to the calories being burned during training, the chow hall is All-you-can-eat for everyone.

[Money$hot]

As of now I have only a few slots left for new recruits before the Nov 1st deadline when training will begin.

However, it has come to my attention that several Brazilian recruits have admitted to having fleas in their junk.

I must warn new arrivals, delousing is a mandatory precaution, but anyone found by itsBRITNEYbitch with crabs, lice, fleas or any other testicular parasite will be beaten severely on the spot. Therefore, I suggest you take care of your infestations before you arrive at the camp....especially you Brazilian players with flea infestations.

I recommend that you simply dunk your balls in a bowl of kerosene for 10 minutes, remove from bowl and immediately light them on fire. Allow to burn for 3- 5 seconds and then douse the flames with a wet towel. Trust me, the discomfort you feel now will be nothing to the beating you will receive at new arrivals if found with parasites, so I suggest you take my home remedy and use it before boarding your plane.

I am in Guyana right now making final preparations from new recruit arrival.

[Money$hot]

I have just one slot open now. If you are considering signing up for my camp do so at once! Training starts Nov 1st. Prepare yourselves.

---

Delousing is the very first station everyone will visit after you arrive at camp on the bus. You will immediately be herded into the delousing station, stripped and your clothing burned in a pit.

I have supplied itsBRITNEYbitch with a full level 4 bio hazard suit and standard, broad spectrum delousing powder and given him a spray gun with 500 gallons of blackmarket DDT to spray your balls with. This combination should kill every living organism that could possibly be taking up residence on your ball sack.

He will first be doing a careful hands-on inspection and noting who has arrived to my camp with parasites and who does not. Those found with parasites will immediately be beaten.

After full delousing, you will then be trimmed by Britney with a military "high-and-tight" cut. I have supplied him with a pair of sheep shears to use if necessary, as I know some of you must have a small jungle down there. He will then tattoo your nutsack with your serial number. As part of his duties, he will perform random on the spot inspections for parasites and hygiene. Again, anyone who fails inspection....you guessed it; beating.

From the delousing station you will be herded to the clothing station to be fitted for new uniforms, boots, socks, underwear and other daily essentials to be stored in your foot locker.

From there Myke Gregory will take over and divide you into 10 person squads and get you situated in your respective barracks will he will then drill you with the basic rules of the camp and what is expected of you. You will also be required to recite and swear your allegiance to teabagging and to me - your supreme Masta.

That is all for now. Pictures will be posted come Nov 1st of the entire training process. Stay tuned.

[Marti]

Publish list of people who signed up aka people we should fear in pubs in the future pls

[Money$hot]

Publish list of people who signed up aka people we should fear in pubs in the future pls

You will know who signed up when their balls drop in your face for a full 5 dunks.

All recruit information is private.

[Money$hot]

I spent most of the day in the dense jungle hand selecting and cutting bamboo beating sticks. I have several drying in the sun now as I'm sure I will be breaking a few when the new recruits get here tomorrow.

If those Brazilians arrive here with fleas infesting their junk, I might break several on them alone.

[Money$hot]

Sorry, all openings for new recruits have been filled. You may still sign up but will not be eligible to join until the current training session ends after 12 weeks.

I look forward to seeing you new arrivals tomorrow!

[ExodusS]

Is there a way to unsubscribe to this thread?

[Marti]

Is there a way to unsubscribe to this thread?

yes

theres 3 options before you post:

Do not subscribe to this thread
Subscribe without receiving email notification of new replies
Subscribe and receive email notification of new replies

tick the first option and u done

[Money$hot]

Is there a way to unsubscribe to this thread?

Why would you want to do such a thing when I'm just getting started? Stick around you may learn something.

---

Unfortunately the new arrivals got off to a rough start when they had a bus accident on the treacherous road here to the camp. A few minor injuries but all were okay. It took time to get another bus and get them to the camp, which cost us precious time in the days events. However, my team pulled together and we got them processed as planned.



Here is a pic of itsBRITNEYBitch delousing our first group of Brazilians with standard delousing powder:



And speaking of the Brazilians, those bastards showed up in droves with multiple parasites in their junk. 12 of them had lice, crabs, fleas and ticks....I broke three of my new beating sticks on them. Two of them showed up with fruit bats nesting in their junk - I broke a stick a piece on them.

Everything else went smoothly and we finally got everyone deloused, although the smell of the DDT lingered in the air for hours.

Off they went to the armory to get uniforms and boots and such and were finally sent to Myke Gregory who after swearing them in, began drilling them with the basics of nut and weapon handling:




5 recruits were sent to Dr. Waffles for sack augmentation. During Britney's caliper measurements, they just came up short. 3 Juveniles (with written parental consent) also went to doctor Waffles for hormone and suction treatments to get their balls to drop. If they do not drop within 2 weeks, they will be returned home.

We had two manly looking Russian women show up. They were found to be infested with crabs and had to be beaten. They too were also shipped off to Dr. Waffles' office for fitting of a prosthetic nutsack (molded after my very own of course). In the coming weeks he will be doing some experiments on them by attempting to graft on some cadaver nuts, so they can have some real warm nuts to drop on people.



The rest of the day went as expected, I had so many beatings to perform for rule infractions that I had to start using my left arm since my right grew tired and cramped.

My recruits are resting now after chow and a long day. They will rise at 4AM for exercise and to listen to some of my teachings over the loud speaker.

More updates will follow as training progresses.

[MykeGregory]

tl;dr
Inb4 picture of myke teabagging this thread

[Money$hot]

Training has been suspended for one week while we delouse the entire camp.



Unfortunately, I awoke this morning scratching my balls like crazy. I immediately called Dr. Waffles over to find out what was wrong. He determined that I had pubic crabs and took a specimen to his lab for identification. Apparently this kind of pubic crab is of unknown species and is some kind of Brazilian jumping crab - probably native to the rainforest. See pic:



The other day when I was beating the new Brazilian arrivals for their infestations one of them crabs must have jump onto my beating stick and ran down my robe and made a nest in my pubes. The Masta is furious. I had Dr. Waffles and itsBRITNEYBitch use a magnifying glass and hand pick all the crabs they could see off of my balls, then I dunked my balls in a bucket of pure DDT for 1 hour. That should kill them little Brazilian bastards.

Everyone in the camp now has these Brazilian Jumping Crabs despite our precautions taken. Dr. waffles informed me that they can jump over 6 meters in a single bound. All troops are quarantined in their barracks and everyone including my officers, assistants and staff will be sprayed with DDT every day for one week to rid ourselves of these parasites. The camp grounds and all buildings will be fogged with DDT to kill any stragglers.



Once quarantine is lifted I plan to re-beat those Brazilians for bringing those damned jumping crabs with them. But I think I plan to use a much longer beating stick - just to be safe.

Also, after further investigation, it turns out that the cause of the bus crash was due to the crabs getting onto the drivers balls and causing him to itch feverishly and he lost control of the bus and crashed. I had just assumed he was drunk.

I will post updates on the progress of the quarantine and if any new outbreaks occur. Hopefully we will be back underway with training in one week.

[Marti]

If you shave there can be no crabs #freetip

[Money$hot]

If you shave there can be no crabs #freetip

Marti, you have suspicious knowledge of crab treatment.....are you sure you are not in my camp under an assumed name?

[Marti]

Marti, you have suspicious knowledge of crab treatment.....are you sure you are not in my camp under an assumed name?

Is there internet connection in your camp except from your own hut?

[Money$hot]

Marti, you have suspicious knowledge of crab treatment.....are you sure you are not in my camp under an assumed name?

Is there internet connection in your camp except from your own hut?

For now, the interwebz is just in my palatial hut. However, I put it past no one with any skills to tap into my wifi and upload to the forums here.

But during approximately week 6 or 8 of their training I will grant Myke access to the web so he can throw in a few recruits into AC and grade how they're doing.

[Marti]

Then maybe i am at your camp, or maybe i am not, you will have to find out yourself

[Money$hot]

tl;dr
Inb4 picture of myke teabagging this thread

[Money$hot]

I put all of the Brazilians in one barracks since they were the most infested. Apparently to pass the time, they tried to practice teabagging one another and got crabs in their eye brows and eye lashes...(photo courtesy of Dr. Waffles.)



I may have to lock them in and back the DDT truck fogger up to a window if this outbreak does not subside. Damn they are nasty.

I had britney and dr. waffles do a thorough inspection of my balls and so far, I am still crab-free, although I am still having britney spray me once daily with DDT. I refuse to leave my palatial hut until this outbreak is under control. Then the beatings will begin. I pass my time by making extra long beating sticks for those damned crabbed-up Brazilians.

[Money$hot]

I just found out today that apparently to pass the time during this week of quarantine, Dr. Meng....er, um...I mean Dr. Waffles has decided to do some nut experimentation on himself. Personally, I approve of his new look I think he looks distinguished with those balls for a chin.

[Money$hot]

So far, I have been crab-free since i had Dr. Waffles and Britney pick them damned things off of me and have taken my daily sprayings of DDT from britney.

During inspections in full hazmat suits, britney and Dr. Waffles have reported that the Brazilian infestation has also been rectified....although I did have to lock them in and fog the entire barracks with DDT. They now run a moderate risk of birth defects if they have children, but I had to get rid of those damned crabs they brought with them at any cost.

Right now, I am putting grip tape on all my beating sticks so they don't slip out of my hand during the beatings that are forthcoming in this high humidity. They will all pay dearly for lousing up my damned camp and delaying my training.

Dr. Waffles is enjoying his new ball sack chin modification and boasts that he is the only player in the world who can teabag someone and French kiss them at the same time.

Hopefully by tomorrow or the next day I can lift the quarantine and get these beatings out of the way. Then the training will begin.

[Money$hot]

After confirming that all parasites have been terminated Britney told me I could officially lift quarantine.

Today will be known as The Day Of The Beatings - where my Brazilian friends will be beaten for bringing in all these parasites.

I entered the Brazilian barracks with 5 beating sticks. I had Britney lock the door behind me and told him to beat anyone who tried to escape.

My shouts and their screams could be heard through the whole camp as I beat those parasite carrying little putas.

"You dogs bring crab into Mastas camp?!" WHACK!, WHACK!, WHACK!,

"You bring in hopping crab that get on Mastas nut?!" WHIP! WHIP! CRACK!

"You no disinfect before you get on my plane?!" WHACK!, WHACK!

"You will learn to keep your nut clean or face Mastas stick!!" CRACK!, CRACK!

I broke all my sticks I took in with me and had to have britney handing me new ones through a slightly open window one after the other. I Lined them all up for a planned systematic beating, but after they saw the first beating they all ran and scattered, climbing on bunks and trying to climb the walls like wild baboons.

"If you run Masta beat you harder!!!" I yell. They no listen. I had to chase each one down for his beating.

Britney yelled into me, that a few of them were clean when they arrived, but I was out of control and I beat them all just to be sure.

PI_Flint volunteered his services to conduct some of the beatings and I sent him to beat the two manly looking Russian women who arrived with pubic crabs. (One of them I secretly suspect is Marti) They have both had cadaver nut sacks transplanted onto them and Dr. Waffles had already started them on high doses of testosterone, so quite honestly, I was a little scared of them and passed them two off to Flint:



After about two hours I had to come out for a break. Like a boxer in his corner, Britney sat me on a small stool and squirted cool water into my mouth and over my sweaty head. He toweled off my sweat and after a few minutes of rest and rehydration I went back in to finish. I beat them all at least two times and broke 23 beating sticks on them.

That should teach them all about sack hygiene and britney will follow up with the proper use of the Axe Ball Detailer.

I will give them today to rest. Tomorrow training will begin.

---

Then maybe i am at your camp, or maybe i am not, you will have to find out yourself

I think you are indeed in my camp. I have my eye on you.