Money$hot's teabag training camp is now open!

[RikPik]

So much effort...

[Marti]

I'm not Russian :D

[Waffles]

Im staging a coup

[Money$hot]

I'm not Russian :D

I think you are in my camp plotting something.....maybe with Dr. Waffles

[Money$hot]

Today I began my day at 4am by preaching the Gospel of Teabagging from the Ancient Book to my followers/recruits:



As you can see, my followers were many and wholly devoted to my teachings:





As you might have expected, I stuck with the ancient 5 DUNK RULE for the entire service.

Also, while beating the Brazilians yesterday, I heard them cry out "Por favor porra Masta! PORRA!" I did not understand what they were talking about...this Porra or whatever. I thought they were begging for porridge or something....

So after the beatings I consulted with itsBRITNEYbitch for translation of the word "Porra". When he told me what it meant it was clear to me what they wanted and what would motivate them to behave and take care of their testicular hygiene in the future.

I am not gay, so there was no way to let them get at my Porra in the normal manner, so I paid Dr. Waffles a visit at his office and had him graft on two baby bottle nipples to my nuts. That way they can nurse directly from the fountain of porra without involving any gayness. In fact everyone in the camp is welcome to nurse from my bountiful nut if they would like.

[Money$hot]

As expected, I've had 12 recruits come begging to me today to quit and fly them back home as promised. Most of them were French, 2 Canadians and a couple of pussy Americans. Surprisingly however, not one of the Brazilians has requested to bail out of training - even after all the beatings they sustained at my hands.

I have a feeling they are going to be one tough lot and valued teabag warriors. They are keeping their junk clean and parasite free and quite frankly, the only problems I've had from them is a few quarrels - fighting amongst themselves over who gets to suck on Mastas Nutpples for the Porra at the morning sermons.

Anyways, as promised the weakling pathetic quitters will be flown home to their home countries at my expense.

However, I must remind them of page 132, Section 12, Paragraph 17b of their enlistment contract where it clearly states that I agree to return them only AFTER the 12 week course is completed.

Until then, they will be outfitted in orange prison jumpsuits, have their heads shaved and be used by the recruits for live teabag practice. I will also use them in my daily teachings to demonstrate the ancient techniques and dunking styles. They will also be segregated away from the rest of the troops in their very own barracks to deter them from degrading morale amongst the rest of the troops.

Any crying or whimpering will result in severe beatings. They had best just go along with the program until the 12 weeks is up or else they pay with the stick.

I intend to make examples of them to deter any future shameful quitters.

On a side note, I regrettably had to beat one of my staffers already. Yesterday morning I awoke in my bed at 3am to find itsBRITNEYbitch nursing the porra from one of my nutpples. He had his eyes closed and was kneading my nut with his hands like a content kitten nursing on breast milk from his momma.....

I yell at him ""What you doing there BRIT!!!!" , "Get off Masta nut immediately!!!" He did not listen and continued. I reached for my beating stick by my night stand and had to give him 4 or 5 hard whacks to the top of his head to break his nursing trance and get him to release my nutpple from his lips. I then got up and beat him in the back all the way out of my hut.

Looks like I will need to lock my doors at night now and post a guard just in case those Porra loving Brazilians get any ideas. If he wasn't such a good delouser and nut inspector I would demote him. He spoke nothing of it during the morning staff briefing and I let it go at that. For all I know he could have been sleepwalking....who knows. I will now keep one eye open for that bitch at night though.

[Flint]

This is the best thread ever created.

All hail MASTA.

[Money$hot]

This is the best thread ever created.

All hail MASTA.

Flint you are becoming an outstanding squad leader. You always teach the 5 dunk rule, and demand strict discipline from your squad.

A model troop, I must say.

[Money$hot]

I awoke this morning with my balls throbbing like headaches, and they were almost blue. I immediately summoned Dr. Waffles to investigate or run some tests or some shit to find out what the hell was wrong with my damned nut.

After some painful hands on examination (and I wondered if that traitorous little bastard was being too rough on me on purpose), a few listens here and there with his stethoscope and finally he was able to make a tentative diagnosis: Porra Depletion.

I was trying to eat as much protein as I could in my diet and not allow any one recruit or staff member to suckle to long, but obviously that was not enough and I became porra deficient. Obviously it didn't help having that damned Bed Intruder itsBRITNEYbitch climbing in my window, snatching my nut up the other night and gorging on god only knows how much porra until I finally awoke and beat him off me.

Dr. Waffles prescribed me some pills called "Super Load" and said that Peter North manufactures them and that they should double the amount of porra produced in my sack. However, it might take up to a week to take full effect. Unfortunately going forward, I will be strictly rationing my porra to the troops. Any more than 2 swallows and you will get Masta's stick to your cranium, as I cannot wake up like this again.

I had to stay in my hut all day with a hot water bottle on my nut and conduct my morning sermon and teachings over the loudspeaker system -which is far less effective than in person where I can beat those not listening or falling asleep.

I'm sure the Brazilians are having a fit and getting porra withdrawal symptoms already. They will just have to suffer it out like men and wait a day or two for me to regenerate enough porra to begin rationing.

Had I known this problem would arise I would have been storing and dehydrating my porra for months into instant porra powder...prolly call it something like Porra-tine or some shit, since Nutella is already taken for another product.

I will be at tomorrow morning's sermon but will have personal guards to prevent anyone from bum rushing me to get a quick suckle in despite an assured stick to the head. People with porra fever get crazy like that.

Hang in there troops, the porra will be flowing soon.

Kirk Out.

[Money$hot]

I have decided that my troops need to wake up to some loud inspiring teabagging music for morning reveille. BTW, this song was suggested to me by itsBRITNEYbitch to be my "theme song" some time ago.
It has the lyrics in the video and I will post them below. I expect all my troops and staff to memorize this song and to sing along each morning. Besides, everyone likes AC/DC!



AC/DC LYRICS


"Big Balls"


Well I'm upper upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

I've got big balls
Oh I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

We've got big balls
We've got big balls
We've got big balls
Dirty big balls
He's got big balls
She's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(We've got big balls)
(We've got big balls)

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(Ball Sucker)
(Ball Sucker)
(Ball Sucker)
(Ball Sucker)

[Money$hot]

[Money$hot]

The Masta has been away in the states on some R&R but will be returning soon to resume training. Stay tuned for updates.

[Kysto]

Money$hot, I have a question to ask you. How long did it take you to master the art of teabagging and do you keep count of your victims? If so, how many bodies have you teabagged? If you do not know the answer, how many bodies do you teabag on a daily or weekly basis?

[Money$hot]

Money$hot, I have a question to ask you. How long did it take you to master the art of teabagging and do you keep count of your victims? If so, how many bodies have you teabagged? If you do not know the answer, how many bodies do you teabag on a daily or weekly basis?

Thank you, that is a very good question. I first started teabagging around 1983 when Donkey King arcade game came out and Mario could squat. It took me over ten years to refine my technique and I spent 3 years in China with a tbag master to teach me the ancient techniques.

I keep detailed counts of my victims. To date, I have teabagged 23,463 players on AC. Each match I play I usually teabag around 20-30 players, some of them my kills and some of them warm bodies left by other players' kills.

Come to my camp and learn the art of teabagging. (unless you are already here)

[KurtNobrain]

yes I have been counted among the victims of Money$hot.   Also seen him get headshot by someone else in process, which is always awesome   :p

[Marti]

So how is your camp doing?

[Money$hot]

So how is your camp doing?

I have been on a short holiday, I will update soon. One tid-bit...I allowed the recruits' mothers' (only) to come for a xmas visit and many of them chose to stay as my concubines. I will give full details in later posts.

[vendorstore]

Thanks and good to know this forum ....

[DeafieGamer]

While Money$hot is on hoilday, I have caught recruits attempting to escape the prison. Unforunately, Money$hot's bots automatically places them back and rewards them with more teabagging.

[DeafieGamer]

I also requested to send over 25 troublemakers to be teabagged.

[Money$hot]

I also requested to send over 25 troublemakers to be teabagged.

Sending me your troublemaker miscreants is highly encouraged, as my discipline techniques have been tested over thousands of years and have proven effective even on the most stubborn malcontents.

[Huntsman]

So much effort...

[Money$hot]

I am sorry but the Masta has been really busy lately increasing my level of enlightenment on top of a secret mountain from a grand master.

I have granted my trainees a 2 week supervised leave into the town of Guyana. They had better not come back HIV+ or I will beat them.

All reports thus far are that the camp is running smoothly even though Marti is hiding inside and has hacked my wifi to give outsiders reports on the forums here. She is apparently hiding an iPhone somewhere on her person undetectable by normal cavity searches. I may have to fly in an xray machine.

I promise to report back soon with the progress of my trainees, and I hear to my surprise that the dirty Brazilians have shaped up and are taking a leadership/role model position amongst the recruits. They have also passed all hygene inspections for parasites. I am becoming proud of them.

~The Masta

[Marti]

I'm not a girl lol

[HoeHunter]

Well it looks like I am off to make a teabag mod!

[Money$hot]

I'm not a girl lol

Maybe you're not, but you could still be hiding that iPhone up in your ass Goatsee style. I am watching you.

[Money$hot]

Do not fear my young grasshoppahs, The Masta will return periodically to this thread for updates and guidance as my free time permits.

[#M|A#Wolf]

[DeafieGamer]

Some citizens ran out of the prison. I'm sending over the police force + K-9 units to stop these people and bring them back for punishments.