Jokes

[Mael]

Same as the last thread, share your favorite jokes.

I'll start it off with a lame one I made:

A man has a stroke. One week later he went to a club and tried to do the "running man." Now he has a broken hip.

[Andrez]

Man: do you want to bet 5 euros I fuck you without touching you?
Woman: oooh come on, it's impossible!
*after the fuck*
Woman: see? It's impossibile! Give me 5 euros!
Man: ok, take them.

[Robtics]

A bad one:

Whats the difference between snowmen and snow-woman?
- Snowballs.

[DrauL]

A bad one:

Whats the difference between snowmen and snow-woman?
- Snowballs.

That was good xD

Whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche?
I dont have a Porsche in my garage.

Horrible i know..

[Mai Mee Tur]

Here's one from Facebook:

Iron Man is a superhero, Iron woman is a command

[Ghost]

Ermn I really don't know ^_^ :


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[Robtics]

I always wanted to tell the following one and was hoping I could use it on IRC ... anyways here it is:

Buy a microwave bed and get a good night sleep in two minutes

^ Thats THE solution for all these noobs whining about how tired they are when they fail in a match ;D

[Lightning]

If you are offended by Vulgarity or have the maturity of a 10 year old skip this.

A little boy and his Grandfather go fishing.

Boy: Can I put the bait?
GP: Can your dick touch your asshole?
Boy: No.
GP: Well then no.

(a while later)

Boy: Can I hold the rod?
GP: Can your dick touch your asshole?
Boy: No.
GP: Well then no.

*Boy takes out sandwich*
GP : Can I have some?
Boy: Can your dick touch your asshole?
GP: Yes.
Boy: Well then go fuck yourself, Gramma made this for me.

[R4zor]

It's time for the old;

Yo momma so fat she squashed a metal crate.

[DrauL]

R4 +10

[Carnifex]

I lol'd.
Funny shit right there. ^

[YourSister]

Man: do you want to bet 5 euros I fuck you without touching you?
Woman: oooh come on, it's impossible!
*after the fuck*
Woman: see? It's impossibile! Give me 5 euros!
Man: ok, take them.

meheheheheh