29 Apr 12, 08:03AM
Nice stuff. Had me freaking out till halfway through when you doubled up on the word masterpiece. A word like that should be used less in order to maximize it's effect. You're describing something awesome, something special, something that can be summed up all in one word... a masterpiece! You want to create that dramatic feeling and let it glow from its home deep within your story instead of renting it apartments all over town. I don't mean to do any downing ya, just some constructive criticism is all. I really liked it. Drew me in right from the beginning and had me hooked until I hit the three masterpiece's. Can't wait to read more man!