Man, I've got a tonne.
While inebriated:
Broken ankle, 3 toes
Tore muscle of femur
Pissed in someones pantry
Spewed on my keyboard after trying to talk on Vent after a night out
Battering rammed a parking sign through my neighbours front window
Hurled myself off a roof into a rose bush
Then you've got the standards like being 'evicted from the premises', robbing a mechanics convention of all their bread during their barbecue.
While inebriated:
Broken ankle, 3 toes
Tore muscle of femur
Pissed in someones pantry
Spewed on my keyboard after trying to talk on Vent after a night out
Battering rammed a parking sign through my neighbours front window
Hurled myself off a roof into a rose bush
Then you've got the standards like being 'evicted from the premises', robbing a mechanics convention of all their bread during their barbecue.