05 Nov 14, 11:27PM
Training has been suspended for one week while we delouse the entire camp.
![[Image: Biohazard.jpg]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/Biohazard.jpg)
Unfortunately, I awoke this morning scratching my balls like crazy. I immediately called Dr. Waffles over to find out what was wrong. He determined that I had pubic crabs and took a specimen to his lab for identification. Apparently this kind of pubic crab is of unknown species and is some kind of Brazilian jumping crab - probably native to the rainforest. See pic:
![[Image: how-to-get-rid-of-pubic-lice.jpg?cde62b]](http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/wp-content/uploads/how-to-get-rid-of-pubic-lice.jpg?cde62b)
The other day when I was beating the new Brazilian arrivals for their infestations one of them crabs must have jump onto my beating stick and ran down my robe and made a nest in my pubes. The Masta is furious. I had Dr. Waffles and itsBRITNEYBitch use a magnifying glass and hand pick all the crabs they could see off of my balls, then I dunked my balls in a bucket of pure DDT for 1 hour. That should kill them little Brazilian bastards.
Everyone in the camp now has these Brazilian Jumping Crabs despite our precautions taken. Dr. waffles informed me that they can jump over 6 meters in a single bound. All troops are quarantined in their barracks and everyone including my officers, assistants and staff will be sprayed with DDT every day for one week to rid ourselves of these parasites. The camp grounds and all buildings will be fogged with DDT to kill any stragglers.
![[Image: 10.jpg]](http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/files/2008/02/10.jpg)
Once quarantine is lifted I plan to re-beat those Brazilians for bringing those damned jumping crabs with them. But I think I plan to use a much longer beating stick - just to be safe.
Also, after further investigation, it turns out that the cause of the bus crash was due to the crabs getting onto the drivers balls and causing him to itch feverishly and he lost control of the bus and crashed. I had just assumed he was drunk.
I will post updates on the progress of the quarantine and if any new outbreaks occur. Hopefully we will be back underway with training in one week.
Unfortunately, I awoke this morning scratching my balls like crazy. I immediately called Dr. Waffles over to find out what was wrong. He determined that I had pubic crabs and took a specimen to his lab for identification. Apparently this kind of pubic crab is of unknown species and is some kind of Brazilian jumping crab - probably native to the rainforest. See pic:
The other day when I was beating the new Brazilian arrivals for their infestations one of them crabs must have jump onto my beating stick and ran down my robe and made a nest in my pubes. The Masta is furious. I had Dr. Waffles and itsBRITNEYBitch use a magnifying glass and hand pick all the crabs they could see off of my balls, then I dunked my balls in a bucket of pure DDT for 1 hour. That should kill them little Brazilian bastards.
Everyone in the camp now has these Brazilian Jumping Crabs despite our precautions taken. Dr. waffles informed me that they can jump over 6 meters in a single bound. All troops are quarantined in their barracks and everyone including my officers, assistants and staff will be sprayed with DDT every day for one week to rid ourselves of these parasites. The camp grounds and all buildings will be fogged with DDT to kill any stragglers.
Once quarantine is lifted I plan to re-beat those Brazilians for bringing those damned jumping crabs with them. But I think I plan to use a much longer beating stick - just to be safe.
Also, after further investigation, it turns out that the cause of the bus crash was due to the crabs getting onto the drivers balls and causing him to itch feverishly and he lost control of the bus and crashed. I had just assumed he was drunk.
I will post updates on the progress of the quarantine and if any new outbreaks occur. Hopefully we will be back underway with training in one week.