AssaultCube Jokes
#3
Back in 2009 I posted some story in the Vanilla forums. Anyway, I'll reiterate it. So back then, I met tipper, Nighthawk (back when he was in C=64, and after the time when he was called 8bit), and MorganKell in an inter. We were running around playing in ac_depot, with lots of intense fragging and flagging. Being all worn out, they decided to eat lunch during the intermission.

So tipper takes out his lunchbox, takes one look at the pasta, and cries out with disgust (in the most formal, insightful way of course), "YUCK! Pasta again? If I get pasta again tomorrow, I am going to end my life."

Nighthawk grabs his lunchbox out of his bag, and finds a baked potato. Mortified by the appalling sight, he swears, "If I get baked potato again tomorrow, I'm going to commit suicide."

MorganKell then reaches deep into his backpack to eat his lunch--ham and cheese sandwiches. Greatly disappointed, and also loathing, he stands up and shouts, "HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICHES?!? SUBWAY!?!?! AGAIN!?!?! IF I GET THIS STUFF TOMORROW, I'MMA GO KILL MYSELF!"

So the next day comes, and they're intering again, with plenty of frags and gibs. The music plays, and it's the intermission.

Tipper, upon taking out his lunchbox, and finding the pasta AGAIN, follows through on his oath, throwing a grenade to the wall to bounce back into his own face and thus killing himself.

Nighthawk, upon taking out his lunchbox, and finding the potatoes AGAIN, follows through on his oath, throwing a grenade to the wall to bounce back into his own face and thus killing himself.

MorganKell, upon taking out his lunchbox, and finding the ham and cheese sandwiches AGAIN, follows through on his oath, throwing a grenade to the wall to bounce back into his own face and thus killing himself.

A few days later, there was a funeral for the dearly departed. I do recall Drakas as DJ playing Kylie Minogue remixes, along with dancing dogs, and Emoposer giving a very poignant eulogy for Morgan. I even saw Undead cry.

Now of course, their mothers were there too. Tipper's mom walked up to his cask, weeping, "Oh Tipper! If only I knew you were sick of pasta! I could have given you rice!"

Nighthawk's mother, too, dragged herself up to the dead body of her son. She sobbed, "Oh Nighthawk! If only I knew you were sick of baked potatoes! I could have given you pork chops!"

However, MorganKell's mother was silent. The two other moms look at her.

"What?" She asks. "He made his own lunches."
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Messages In This Thread
AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 05 Sep 10, 11:00PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Carnifex - 06 Sep 10, 06:35AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Syntax - 06 Sep 10, 11:10AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Andrez - 06 Sep 10, 12:13PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by ExodusS - 06 Sep 10, 12:28PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 06 Sep 10, 01:12PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Gibstick - 06 Sep 10, 01:13PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Carnifex - 06 Sep 10, 01:19PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by MusicMan10 - 06 Sep 10, 05:40PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Undead - 06 Sep 10, 09:26PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 06 Sep 10, 10:58PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by DrauL - 07 Sep 10, 01:58AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Gibstick - 07 Sep 10, 02:28AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 07 Sep 10, 07:13AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by samsattF - 07 Sep 10, 01:12PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Na!L_GuN - 07 Sep 10, 01:55PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 07 Sep 10, 01:31PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 07 Sep 10, 08:14PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by samsattF - 07 Sep 10, 09:30PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 08 Sep 10, 07:41AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Mael - 14 Oct 10, 07:32PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Ronald_Reagan - 08 Sep 10, 06:58PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 08 Sep 10, 11:49PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Ronald_Reagan - 08 Sep 10, 11:57PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by #M|A#Wolf - 09 Sep 10, 01:08AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by LaNterN - 09 Sep 10, 01:09AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 09 Sep 10, 03:48AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 09 Sep 10, 08:40AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by 0botulismus - 09 Sep 10, 12:03PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Panda - 09 Sep 10, 12:17PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Ronald_Reagan - 11 Sep 10, 01:05AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by samsattF - 11 Sep 10, 01:44AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 14 Oct 10, 04:13PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Bl00D_Splat - 16 Oct 10, 09:12AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by SuperSniper - 18 Oct 10, 05:22PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 18 Oct 10, 10:38PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Syntax - 25 Oct 10, 01:29PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by GunZ|Maj.Hillis - 21 Oct 10, 06:19PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 21 Oct 10, 09:56PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 21 Oct 10, 07:06PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by RandumKiwi - 21 Oct 10, 10:14PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Ronald_Reagan - 22 Oct 10, 01:14AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Brett - 25 Oct 10, 11:34PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by 610|Zac - 30 Oct 10, 10:57PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by castiel - 25 Oct 10, 11:48PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Emoposer - 26 Oct 10, 06:13AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by MorganKell - 26 Oct 10, 06:59AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by RandumKiwi - 26 Oct 10, 07:36AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Emoposer - 26 Oct 10, 05:50PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by #M|A#Wolf - 27 Oct 10, 02:49AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by titiPT - 27 Oct 10, 08:18PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Zarjio - 27 Oct 10, 10:30PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 28 Oct 10, 07:12AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 28 Oct 10, 11:21AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by titiPT - 28 Oct 10, 06:13PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Huntsman - 28 Oct 10, 09:28PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Quorthon - 28 Oct 10, 11:58PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 29 Oct 10, 07:06AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Dreamer - 29 Oct 10, 04:01PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by |ELITE|00 - 31 Oct 10, 02:02AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by ikljo - 03 Nov 10, 09:44PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by vern - 10 Nov 10, 04:32AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 10 Nov 10, 04:49AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by JMM - 10 Nov 10, 07:41AM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Gibstick - 10 Nov 10, 12:38PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 10 Nov 10, 03:17PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Bukz - 10 Nov 10, 12:48PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Sp33dy* - 10 Nov 10, 02:37PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by V-Man - 16 Sep 12, 09:26PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Link - 17 Sep 12, 11:46PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Xenon - 18 Sep 12, 04:51PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by Bullpup - 18 Sep 12, 06:58PM
RE: AssaultCube Jokes - by ElCrema - 19 Sep 12, 03:33AM