The unwritten rules of the game: some questions

[V-Man]

He came in again, he revealed himself, he was banned.

That's my favorite part. As if revealing his name is going to cause him to win the argument. "Oh! It's you! Well, in that case, I'm going to treat you differently. Associating your name with a status in the AC community has convinced me that I should not ban you after all."

And yeah, flag-bullying is just as bad as team-killing (though rare enough that I've never seen an instance of this myself).

Many servers have rules posted in their MOTD lines (the text that comes up when you join the server). It helps for server owners to specifically post what they expect in player behavior, e.g., "no cheating, no team-killing, no disrupting the game by keeping CTF flags." It especially helps when similar rules are visible from server to server, allowing for a sense of a common standard.

Standards with no common ground (i.e., you may get kicked for violating one of these on one server, while [most] other servers don't care about these) include camping, nade-spamming, gemas, knife-only, asking a teammate to drop the flag for you, one mode/map 24/7, accusing others of cheating, etc.